Tuesday, October 25, 2005

LARD

Okay, everyone who was more than 10 pounds of lard off gets eliminated. That leaves Stu, Jenna, and my mother (who submitted a guess of 25 via email) in the running.

And Dan: Nice reasoning, but bear in mind that Juneau and Harris weren't preparing for a grueling semester of college, just a leisurely jaunt through uninhabited wilderness. 300 pounds is way overshooting it. Even if they did have a mule and a Native guide to carry it for them. Geez.

So I got an email from Kathryn in Austin today reminding me that with thousands of Katrina refugees pouring into the city, my odds of finding shelter and employment are perhaps less stellar than they were 3 months ago. Hmmm. That certainly puts a damper on my half-baked plans.

And, finally, I would just like to share with you all that I went with the curator today to the home of an aging art dealer to look at a painting he wants to sell to our museum. His wall decorations included, but were not limited to, the following: an enormous stuffed caribou head, a gun rack including a gun holder made of pair of deer legs protruding from the wall, and a coconut that his son mailed to him when he was stationed in the South Pacific. Where am I again? Oh right, Alaska.

Love,

K

12 comments:

  1. So the number of pounds of lard was........20? N (a runner up!)

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  2. Well, he was foolish to bring such little lard with him.

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  3. umm so if x= lbs of lard, then:
    15 < x < 24.5
    is that correct reasoning?
    can i quit while i'm ahead?
    is the prize actual lard?

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  4. I don't think gun holders made out of deer legs should be shocking to someone who has clubbed a salmon until it was dead (mmm... fresh salmon). I've seen those before, actually, although I would have called them deer feet--the hoof part with the ankle bit (I am SUCH a nature queen). They, and the guns they hold, adorn the walls of my birth mother's house. She lives in Maine.

    Waste not, want not.

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  5. Okay, let's get one thing straight, I have NEVER actually clubbed a salmon. Richard's boss took care of all that. I did hand him said club a couple of times, but that's it. And I didn't stick two fish tails to my wall and use them to hold up my fishing pole. Just so you know. And YES, the answer is TWENTY pounds of lard. Jenna wins closest, but I'll scrounge up prizes for all three runners-up.

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  6. Whoa-ho-ho! No need to get all defensive. Bears eat fish, why shouldn't you? Bears probably tear right into them while they're still alive. Maybe they bang them once or twice on a rock first to keep them from wriggling. I say club away and eat with gusto!

    But you are admitting that you were an accessory to the clubbing of the fish, just so we're clear.

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  7. Ha ha, I was a complete and utter accessory. AND I reeled one of them in to his wriggling death. I have no shame... I just didn't want to take credit where credit wasn't due.

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  8. may i please request that my prize be more photos of LDS-in-Alaska landmarks?
    ps can you TELL how unfocused i am today?!

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  9. Gee, I hope my prize is neither a gun rack nor a fishing pole rack! N

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  10. All this talk of gun racks only makes me think of the part in Wayne´s World where Wayne's crazy ex-girlfriend (Stacy? Am I nerdy enough to remember her name?) gives him one as a present. "I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack."

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  11. A gun rack for me would be nice, but the only wall space for it is the room that my daughter used to live in. How about it, KT?

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  12. On the off chance that you are more than kidding. You don´t need a gunrack. Just because you have a gun license does not mean you need to actually use and or/display any guns. Particularly anywhere near my room. Thank you.

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