Monday, June 12, 2006

A strange series of events

So R&I were peaceably sharing a pizza (cheeseless, natch) on the patio in front of Whole Foods last night. They have tables and chairs out there where people are always eating, and of course the ubiquitous flock of hungry birds can always be found flying close to the ground and hopping onto nearby railings and generally making a nuisance of themselves as they live off the fat of the land. One of them landed on the back of the empty chair across the table from me, and spent several minutes staring at us and our dwindling pizza with his beady beady eyes. I was down to my last slice, which I had already eaten all the vegetables off of; I pulled off a chunk of naked crust and (picture the next part happening in slow motion): 1.) rolled it up between my hands, 2.) began moving it toward my mouth, 3.) screamed out loud as something hurtled through the air at me, and 4.) discovered that I no longer had any pizza in my hands. The damn bird from the chair across from me stole the crust directly out of BOTH my hands! Both!!! (I had to give him props for his graceful execution, though; all I felt was the slight brush of his greedy wings on my hands.) Everyone sitting around me was totally nonchalant; the lady at the next table leaned over to say, "Oh yeah, he did that earlier this evening." I couldn't do anything but sit with my mouth open for a while. Needless to say, dinner was over after that.

And then, on the way home, R's seatbelt came unbuckled and popped open. Um, aren't they supposed to test cars for that sort of thing before they declare them safe to drive in?


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  2. Wonder if your bird would eat spam?

    Could your outing to Whole Foods have been part of the 666 phenomenon? By the way, sources say that 666 has been declared an illegal integer in Texas by the legislature, and that all textbooks adopted by the state committee will be required to skip that page.

  3. I think we are going to have to give Watson some lessons on stealing food. When I told him the story, he hung his head in shame. N

  4. 1) the 666 day was a huge deal here, all the newspapers had all these articles about satanic this or that. silly country thats just catholic enough to still be weird and superstituous but not actually very practiciing...

    2) I know katie's loss was very traumatizing, and god knows i am attached to every last crumb of my own food, but can i please get more sympathy for my stolen CAMERA(/sense of security)???

  5. The ozone layer. Martin Luther King Jr. The dodo bird. And now we can add katie's pizza to the list of the greatest losses our world has ever suffered. Oh, sorry about the camera, R.

  6. Stolen camera: awful. So sorry, Rebecca, that blows.

    Stolen engagement ring: appalling.

    Pizza crust stolen by bird: Trumps everything. Absolutely terrifying. Katie, I think Whole Foods should pay for your therapy. Are you getting therapy? You should. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not something to be trifled with or ignored. For God's sake, stay inside!


  7. Who cares about Rebecca's camera. She hasn't taken any pictures of katie in a year. As for Katie's story, I had a fantastic image to supplement her story with, but I have had some difficultly taking a screen grab of a dvd, so I've given up on that.