So R&I were peaceably sharing a pizza (cheeseless, natch) on the patio in front of Whole Foods last night. They have tables and chairs out there where people are always eating, and of course the ubiquitous flock of hungry birds can always be found flying close to the ground and hopping onto nearby railings and generally making a nuisance of themselves as they live off the fat of the land. One of them landed on the back of the empty chair across the table from me, and spent several minutes staring at us and our dwindling pizza with his beady beady eyes. I was down to my last slice, which I had already eaten all the vegetables off of; I pulled off a chunk of naked crust and (picture the next part happening in slow motion): 1.) rolled it up between my hands, 2.) began moving it toward my mouth, 3.) screamed out loud as something hurtled through the air at me, and 4.) discovered that I no longer had any pizza in my hands. The damn bird from the chair across from me stole the crust directly out of BOTH my hands! Both!!! (I had to give him props for his graceful execution, though; all I felt was the slight brush of his greedy wings on my hands.) Everyone sitting around me was totally nonchalant; the lady at the next table leaned over to say, "Oh yeah, he did that earlier this evening." I couldn't do anything but sit with my mouth open for a while. Needless to say, dinner was over after that.
And then, on the way home, R's seatbelt came unbuckled and popped open. Um, aren't they supposed to test cars for that sort of thing before they declare them safe to drive in?