Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm gonna live forever...

If you missed the comments on the previous post, here's the digest form: I have been reading and goodreadsing and working and coughing and not blogging. Sorry. I promised filler and here it is.

Wait, first I have actual content!

1. Too sick to sing today. Watched Fame with N and C. Chatted with father about fruit and golf and impending travel. Made nachos and loquat jam.
2. MP's parents are returning from deepest suburbia... to live about 3 houses down from my dad! Too bad they can't also go back in time to an era in which MP and I actually lived there or visited, you know, ever.

Now back to your regularly scheduled filler. I've started a collection of jam related picture books. This one features dated British groaners about fruit. Love it.

Who is purple and lives in Monaco?
Princess Grape.

What is purple and lights up?
An electric grape.

How did Tarzan hurt his foot?
Trying to make wine from electric grapes.

Who is Tarzan's favorite folk singer?
Harry Elephante.

What is yellow and lasts for 38 minutes?
A long playing lemon.


  1. Just three words for you, Cita: Ha. Ha. Bonk. Which one wins????

    I was going to write out the Tarzan/Jane/grapes joke, and I googled it just for the hell of it to make sure I was getting it right, which led me to discover that when you google "ha ha bonk tarzan jane," one of the 8 hits that appears is, um, this blog. Apparently you already posted that joke in 2005. Only 3 years blogging and we're repeating ourselves already?????? That is so sad.

    What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come over the hill?
    "Here come the elephants!"
    What did Jane say when she saw the elephants come over the hill?
    "Here come the grapes!" She was colour-blind.

  2. What did Tarzan say to Jane when he saw the Elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?
    Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

  3. 1) You say recycling, I say building on a motif... In an early draft of this post I called the book "ha ha bonk worthy" and linked to my previous use of terrible jokes as blogfiller. Instead I decided to leave it as subtext, for future blogcritics such as yourself to analyze. Nice work.

    2) Who knew there were so many Tarzan jokes?

    3) Ha ha bonk is the more complete collection, but this one has killer artwork.

    4) What did Tarzan buy at the super market that was handy, economical, and 24,000 lbs?
    An elephant six-pack.

    What do you get when you cross peanut butter with an elephant?
    Peanut butter with a long memory.
    An elephant that sticks to the top of your mouth.