Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I spy with my little eye...


Faithful blog reader Natalia is coming to town for South by Southwest later this week and will be staying with us for a couple of nights. In honor of her visit, I am posting a current "Before" shot of our living room. (Please note that there is no "After" shot. I am trying to shame us into cleaning before she gets here.) Now, since there's nothing more fun than shame, let's take this opportunity to play a little I Spy. Can you spy...

...an empty oatmeal container that is inexplicably being stored in an unwashed crock pot?

...two used roasting pans? (Bear in mind that this is our living room, people, not our kitchen.)

...B&Q's down comforter, which we borrowed from them during a cold snap in December and still haven't managed to return?

...three different grocery bags in various states of unpackedness?

...not one, not two, but six (6) individual pairs of shoes, all strewn on the floor within perhaps five feet of our shoe shelves?

...a copy of Atlantic magazine on top of three empty yogurt containers on top of a cookbook on top of an (I can only presume, since I haven't seen it properly in at least a week) unwashed 4-cup measuring cup? (Please note that the cookbook is doing double-duty by also holding a notice from the IRS and a pair of earrings.)

...my (definitely unwashed, this time I'm sure of it) karate uniform?

Now, don't you all (with the possible exception of M&R, though I hear rumors that they've cleaned up their act in recent years...) feel better about your own homes? You're welcome. I'll try to take an "After" shot later this week. If I can't... well, may God help us all.

Also, a little link roundup for you. (Am I turning into an Actual Blogger? Heaven forfend!)

Link the first: Don't you wish you lived in the live music breakfast taco capital of the world?

Link the second: Oh wait, no you don't, because then your State Board of Education would do this. Seriously, go look at this list. It's hilariously awful. Below are a couple of my favorites, but really the whole thing is this bad. News of the Weird, eat your heart out.

...Religious conservatives stripped from the high school sociology course a standard having students "differentiate between sex and gender as social constructs and determine how gender and socialization interact." Board member Barbara Cargill argued that the standard would lead students to learn about "transexuals, transvestites and who knows what else." She told board members she had conducted a "Google search" to support her argument. Board member Ken Mercer complained that the amendment was about "sex." The board consulted no sociologists during the debate...

...The board removed Oscar Romero, a prominent Roman Catholic archbishop who was assassinated in 1980 (as he was celebrating Mass) by rightists in El Salvador, from a world history standard about leaders who led resistance to political oppression. Romero, they argued, wasn’t of the same stature as others listed in the standards: Nelson Mandela and Mohandas Gandhi. One board member argued that “he didn’t have his own movie like the others.” He quickly reversed himself — the film Romero, based on the archbishop’s life, was released in 1989 and starred actor Raul Julia in the title role...


Link the third: Okay okay, I know this is a family-friendly blog... but seriously, what???? (My boss sent this to me and her sister, whose only response was "Um, okay, I can see how maybe gay men might like this, but then what purpose would that serve???" Snicker.)

4 comments:

  1. Your apartment is just too small for your style....

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  2. OK, (with a nod to M&R) you haven't seen our house since the little one hit the scene. We do clean sometimes, I swear! But as soon as we turn it over to Joe and the dogs, EVERYTHING we own will be carpeting our floor in about 5 seconds flat. It's truly astonishing.

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  3. Re: Link the third: Aieeeeeeee! I'm totally going to have nightmares now. Can you just imagine getting surprised with something like that?

    I'd like to say I'll have nightmares about the school board stuff, but my cynical depression (or perhaps depressed cynicism?) about such things is running too high at the moment.

    --M

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  4. Not only is the cookbook holding up the tower of yogurt containers, earrings, IRS what-have-you and so-forth, but it's also providing shade for those poor potatoes.

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