Friday, April 30, 2010

Life scenes

Okay, heaven forfend this turns into one of Those Gardening Blogs, but can I just take a minute to tell you about Texas dandelions? So everyone knows what dandelions are, right? They're cute, they're cuddly, they're a pain in the ass but fun to blow on when they turn puffy and white (unless you're the one who's in charge of lawn maintenance), etc. I thought I knew everything there was to know about dandelions. Until I moved to Texas.


Yes, my friends, that is a Texas dandelion. With my hand added for scale. It's a massive, saw-toothed, waist-high, thick-stemmed, terrifying freak of nature, surely more beast than man, and don't even try to get close enough to blow on it because I'm pretty sure it would eat any part of you it could get its paws on. Texas continues to frighten and confound me.

Speaking of monsters of the vegetable kingdom, I would also like to introduce you to: our parsley.


Let me walk you through this photograph... in the foreground, you got yer end-of-season collards to the left, you got yer shallots to right, a little further back you got yer leeks... and then. And then. What's as tall as my shoulder, has stems I can barely fit my fist around, and doesn't taste as good as basil or cilantro? That's right - our parsley. Who knew parsley could even DO that?????

Wildflower season has come and gone - we're in the thick of rose season but that will surely end any day now, and then Central Texas will be back to its mostly unattractive (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) self again. Fortunately, we have all sorts of other things to entertain us... like babies!


(I also promise not to turn this into one of Those Baby Blogs. But really, how can something that weighs 6 pounds but is still somehow human NOT strike you as completely weird and awesome?)

And finally, I'm pretty sure you all wish that you came home one day in March to find your birthday present being secretly constructed behind a closed door with the following warning posted on it:


Indeed. Indeed.

4 comments:

  1. Hey, I'm a little bothered. I mean, that's MY BLOG you're talking about! On BOTH "One of THOSE ..." counts!

    (That said, I bow to your dandelion and parsley growing prowess. Cute baby, too.)

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  2. wait, PARSLEY got top billing over vivian?! what is this, a rebecca entry?!?!?

    miss you both!!

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  3. Ha ha, I knew I should have put a disclaimer. I don't have any problem with mom bloggers who ACTUALLY have babies. Or live with them. Or gardening bloggers who actually know how to garden. Or at least have good cameras. But as someone who doesn't meet any of the above criteria, I should really stick to blogging about freak parsley and the signs R tapes to our doors.

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  4. I would like to point out, as a spokesperson for the general public, that said birthday present should have stayed behind closed doors. Preferably several of them. With retinal scan security and flashing lights and very loud alarm bells. Still traumatized.

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