Monday, June 25, 2012

A mystery in the mail

R is in Oregon this week, bunking on my brother's air mattress and watching the Olympic track and field trials. Today I received an envelope in the mail with no return address and a Eugene postmark. The terrifying contents:

Help, what do I do? I can't remember basic hostage protocol - is conceding to a kidnapper's demands the best thing or the worst thing you can do? And where do I send the cookies???

Sidenote: In my family, whenever something mysterious happens, we say, "This sounds like a case for One-Eyed Kelly!" My dad invented One-Eyed Kelly, Girl Detective when I was ten, and he used to commission me to draw fictional book covers for mysteries that he also invented, of which the only title I can currently remember is "Three Men and a Bowling Ball: A One-Eyed Kelly Mystery." She was kind of the anti-Nancy Drew. She dressed a little like me, she did in fact only have one eye (she wore a patch), and I'm pretty sure she also had a peg leg. Later my dad created a boy sidekick for her, Hanukkah Jones, but by then I had long since grown way too cool to draw pictures, so Hanukkah never made it onto a book cover.

Anyways, this totally sounds like a case for One-Eyed Kelly. In her absence, I will try valiantly to bring the kidnapper to justice. Now where's my magnifying glass???


  1. Hey, I'm in Eugene, Oregon. You should probably send the cookies to me, and then when the kidnapper gives you a location for the delivery, I can do it more quickly.

  2. HANUKKAH JOOOOOOOOOOOOONES. Why ahve I never been introduced to him before??? Best side kick ever.

  3. Thank you for breathing new life into the blog. It gives me a valuable tool for procrastinating my work!